I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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