He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
