But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
