Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
