Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize