I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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