All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
