SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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