How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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