im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize