couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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