you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
