Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
