C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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