Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
