i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
