Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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