I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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