Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Randomize
