This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
