My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
