You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She said her name was "party"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
