Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
