Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
