Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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