she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize