Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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