I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
