If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I am available for nakedness
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
