hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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