They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
