He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
