I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
A bitchslap is in order.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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