your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
