She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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