Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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