Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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