my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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