Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is Oprah even human
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
