he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
