when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
this just has baby written all over it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
