im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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