THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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