So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
