Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
