We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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