Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize