Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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