is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I am one with the molecules
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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