Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
