rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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