Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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