There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I supernannyed him into submission
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize