I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
