So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
