I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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