I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
