I cockslap morals
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
