i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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