you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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