it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
