I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
