YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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