I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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