so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
