I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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