id be glad to
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize